Off the cuff...

The Awkward Moments...

The matatu takes a sharp corner and you slip off ur seat but maintain your sitting position in midair...

That chic with a high set weave who bumps her head while boarding the matatu...

We've sat in traffic for over an hour. Angry impatient dude decides to alight. Jam clears a millisecond later. We zoom past his embarassed face.

...a dedication to Bertha

Been awhile since I got into a bus...am sowwy, its just that...ah, nyeff.
So anyway, some weeks ago, we were overtaken by a Fushia Vitz...in it was a dude driver accompanied by his main lady in the co driver's seat. I'm alil' blur about the details but Methinks it's a left-hand drive...probably, yes? But good for him, he actually overtook us. Good for you, dude! Virtual high five to all the brave Fuschia Vitz Male Drivers (FVMD) overtaking people out there. No, really. Kudos!

And more recently (hold on to your seats), I met that other guy walking in town. The one who's normally on phone telling someone else that he is in a matatu & he will call back later. If you have met this one and you ply Jogoo Road then you have probably also met the one who tells his caller that he is in Nyeri travelling to Meru and will not be able to come to Buruburu this evening...

But, here is something from the Wordsmith that will butter your bread in the morning...In Meru, renowned brewers add biscuits to their brew, coz 'mgema akisifiwa, tembo hulitia Manji'

 

It's cold and you know it.

I'm selling these...please place your order.

These outfits can be worn at home at night and on your way to work at dawn.

Make life warm and easy.

Pay the tout your fare at the door then snuggle on your seat.

August 2013

#MatatuChronicles : So much to write about today. Wow.
1. Someone must be interviewing these touts before they hire them. Tumejaa mat in record time.
2. Then the driver was so excited about that, he floored the accelerator n we sped off.
3. For several minutes, i couldn't see well.
4. The mat was full of greyish exhaust fumes.
5. Forgive me if i smell like a garage at work today.

Earlier this month...

18/9/2013...
#MatatuChronicles Chic in a mini and stockings just got into the mat. Caught me staring at her legs & I'm thinking...''Chic, *sigh* how did you get them so lean??? No thunder thighs going on there.'' I'm so sad :(

So much was lined up for us on #MatatuChronicles today! God is awesome. I sat near one gentleman, his face hidden behind three bulky paperbags full of, i dunno. For a brief moment, the empty seat between us stared back at us. So i asked him why not place his heavy stuff there...and then the tout behind us retorts, ''akiwekelea hapo alipie kiti'' o_O surely.
Someone behind me needs divine intervention.

12/9/2013...
Mentally repeating this word, mezesha over n over again...coz its just....wat is this?? Ok, #MatatuChronicles This jam is mezesha...
Me: ''mezesha...me.ze.sha. ME ZE SHA...mezesha...''
You: '' :-/ ''

7/9/2013....
#MatatuChronicles Last night, we reported mat Reg No. KAU _ _ _X for dangerous n careless driving, ear splitting loud music, n just generally lack of decorum n unruly behavior of the tout trying monkey styles swinging at the open door to the beat of a SHOUTING Kofi Olomide. Yes, to the police. Na iwe funzo kwa wengine. We are people, not a bunch of old potato sacks.


5/7/20013....
#MatatuChronicles Kila mtu hapa ako na touch screen phone. Eh, ni mimi tu. *qwerty-ing away with sad abandon*

I tell you the truth, hiyo stretch ya nyayo stadium stinks of bird poop. Yez. #MatatuChronicles

2/9/2013...
Gai...saa zingine ukiimagine vile wameweka loud music na kichwa inauma, unatafuta weapons of mass destruction na unazitumia without mercy. >:/ #MatatuChronicles


~Me Thinks ~
(Issorait)

Let's take a look back...

 

 

 

A few years back while enroute to Nairobi, a matatu overtook our car.

The mat was old, and even though the Michuki rules had not yet been enforced and Speed Governors were unknown, these guys were fully compliant.

But what struck me wasn't the rickety old thing, the sluggish way in which it overtook us or the bored shiny faces inside. It was the flock of chicken strapped on its rooftop. The mat driver was rubbing it in the chicken's narrow beaked faces how it really feels to fly. How low can a blow get? There they were, poor mindless chicken, feathers flattering in the wind, the sun in their faces, with only one care in the world...that they can't fly.

 

Let's be honest, that's how we all feel when we get into a matatu. Harassed.
And most times, though we don't know it when we board the matatu, as soon as it leaves the busstop, then the ride of our lives begins...
 

#Matatu Chronicles